Halloween Movies: The Unnamable

Having just watched this last night, now seems the best time to write about it.

I chose this one as it is based on an H. P. Lovecraft short story of the same name.  The story itself is quite short and does not lend itself well to the big screen, so its plot has been adjusted (rather drastically) to fit the "teenagers trapped in a haunted mansion" mold in order to give the movie's creators an excuse to include nudity.  At least that is what I will assume.  The result is decently suspenseful and a bit frightening, and actually made for a pretty good movie.

Meet our hero, Randolph Carter:

In the original short story, Carter exists as a stand-in for Lovecraft himself.  He serves a similar purpose here for the first half, telling the other character that they're crazy if they think he's going into that haunted house because he knows about stuff.  Then, completely out of nowhere, he changes his mind and goes there anyway.  All while listing the reasons why the other characters are stupid.  To be fair to him, though, all of the other characters are pretty stupid.  I mean, there's some sort of horrible unicorn-devil running around a haunted house, cutting people's heads off and generally being a dick, and you think your best course of action is to constantly shout other characters' names?  Sorry, you deserve death.

I said above that the movie was pretty good, but you know what?  It probably wasn't.  The end of the movie is terrible.  The best part about the ending is that Carter saves the day via a potent combination of reading and cross-referencing.  Now, I like reading and cross-referencing as much as the next library school student (i.e. more than most people), but even I know this is a crappy way to end a horror movie.  That wasn't even the worst thing about the movie, though.  The worst part was the stupid frat boy's flashlight.  Seriously, it was like a box with light shining out of one end.  I tried to find a picture of it, but I can't.  You'll never know my pain.

Also, there's a sequel.  I think I'll have to check that out.

I almost forgot!  I mention the unicorn-devil look of the monster above and I wasn't joking:

Check out those awesome furry boots.  Looks like something out of Second Life.

Halloween Movies: Leviathan

Gaze upon its majesty and tremble.  It is Leviathan.

Two posts in two days seems like a lot, I suppose.  I certainly is when compared to the year or so I spent not posting on this thing.  I had this film in mind specifically, though, and so I feel that should probably take advantage of this initiative while it sticks around.

I had never heard of Leviathan before finding it on Netflix, and boy did I get lucky with this one.  I believe I was initially motivated by the fact that it stars RoboCop himself, Peter Weller.  RoboCop being involved is a good reason to do anything, if you ask me.  The plot summary as provided by Netflix was a bit less inspiring, mentioning deep-sea miners investigating the wreck of a Soviet ship on the sea floor.  I bet myself that everything would go smoothly and there certainly wouldn't be any dangerous, communist mutagens hidden somewhere on the ship.

They had to have pitched this movie as a deep-sea version of The Thing, and that's really what it feels like.  Crew members turn into bloodthirsty monsters (literally), though there's no mystery involved here.  Peter Weller's character is what we get instead of Kurt Ruessell's MacReady, and he does a credible job as the leading man.  The real star, though, is this film's version of Childs.

Wayne State alumnus.  Former Ghostbuster.  The one, the only.

Ernie Hudson.

Yes, apparently when Winston Zeddemore said that he'd do anything so long as a steady paycheck was involved, he wasn't joking.  In Leviathan, he's basically playing a more badass version of the Ghostbusters character and he is amazing.  He's got some of the best one-liners I've ever heard coming out of the mouth of a human being, and he is no ordinary human being.  He's a Ghostbuster.

The rest of the characters are pretty much pointless and exist only to be turned into monsters, but that's okay.  We as the audience accept that no one but Peter Weller and Ernie Hudson matter, anyway.  I think there's another character that doesn't get turned, but who cares about them, right?

The monster is, again, very similar to the monster from The Thing:

It's as though God got a little tipsy and played a game of "how many sea creatures and people parts can I sew together?"  Seriously, though, that's how they designed the monster.  The special effects aren't terrific but they're not that bad either.  I don't remember it being especially scary or suspenseful at any point; it's mostly just a fun movie.  It's the sort of movie that allows you to enjoy the Halloween spirit all year round.  If you're a drinker (and you really should be if you're watching any of these), I suggest doing plenty of that while you're watching this one.

Halloween Movies: The Sentinel

I absolutely love Halloween, and in recent years have gotten sucked into the wonderful world of "horror" films.  I place "horror" in quotes because I don't think it is an appropriate term for some of the movies which I have watched, but I feel that they should be grouped together regardless of this fact.  I have settled on the phrase "Halloween Movie" as my most preferred descriptor, and will be referring to them as such from this point on.  I will say that Netflix has played a large role in making this possible.  It's like playing roulette, though; sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you most definitely do not.

I will begin with The Sentinel, a 1977 movie I picked based solely on its Netflix description and the fact that it stars Chris Sarandon of Fright Night fame, a movie which I will almost surely cover at a later date.  My gamble was immediately rewarded when I learned from the opening credits that the film boasts some insane star power.  John Carradine, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, and Eli Wallach all play roles of various importance, and the film also features young versions of Jeff Goldblum, Jerry Orbach, and Christopher Walken.  Burgess Meredith in particular is great, playing his role perfectly from start to finish.  Plus, look at him!  He has a cat and a bird and he's awesome.

I'd go into more detail but I don't want to spoil things too much.  In fact, if at all possible, I'd avoid reading the Netflix description of the movie at all.  And the tagline on the poster above.  Whoops.

The Sentinel is slow at times and seems to forget, on occasion, that it is a horror film.  Thankfully, just when you think that the rest of the film is going to be boring dialogue about a skinny girl fainting a lot, it tosses you head over heels and gets downright weird.  The special effects are well-done and can be quite disturbing in places.  The ending of the movie is wonderfully creepy as well, and is reason enough to watch the whole movie.  I would definitely recommend taking the time to watch this one.

Next up: Ohmygod Leviathan.